Pleasure provocateur Kim Anami blends ancient wisdom with contemporary solutions to help others initiate mind-blowing sex. But what if abstaining from sex could actually lead to a better experience?
Anami covered the curious topic of “Conscious Celibacy” in an episode of her podcast “Orgasmic Enlightenment.” The relationship expert — who has studied Taoist philosophy and has been featured in everything from Cosmopolitan to O, The Oprah Magazine — said she recommends conscious celibacy the same way she suggests the practice of conscious monogamy.
“Celibacy can be an amazing tool to further your growth, level up your life and get focused on what you really want,” Anami stated. Serial daters could learn a thing or two from celibacy. Hopping from bed to bed can leave one worse off in the sex department.
“And to be deliberate about creating your life and intimate relationship, instead of defaulting to old, unconscious patterns and being the effect, rather than the conscious cause, of your reality.”
From Ex to Ecstasy: Kim Anami Advises Observing Patterns Before Launching New Ones
Anami says the prime time to delve into celibacy is right after a breakup. “Put an ‘unavailable’ sign on your forehead, and stop, drop, and heal,” Anami urged.
“Ask yourself tough questions. What patterns do you keep repeating in relationships? Where can you heal old trauma that keeps you stuck in a groove and sabotaging deeper intimacy?”
She explained that being totally introspective and digging into personal feelings in a more profound manner can lead to attracting a higher-quality partner down the road.
But according to Anami, conscious celibacy isn’t something that occurs magically or by chance. It requires work. Anami stated that the secret lies in tapping into one’s sexual energy and using it as a creative power. Seeking out various paths of healing is another recommendation from the relationship authority.
And she’s not suggesting that people abruptly give up sex without learning how to properly reroute that sexual energy. Pile on the self love, she tips. Anami says that she established a unique daily routine that involved meditation and self-pleasure in her life. When she needed to satisfy herself, she indulged, and when she felt like she needed a good cry, she admits she did that too. She let her emotions flow freely and without boundaries or hesitation.
“I needed to cry and release and alchemize,” Anami recalled. “And the very best tool I know for that is vaginal orgasms — cervical orgasms, in particular. So I gave them to myself.”
Kim Anami Outlines the Anatomy of Conscious Celibacy
The journeys look slightly different for men and women. For men, Kim Anami says to meditate, masturbate, and create, but in addition, place emphasis on building sexual stamina. For women, meditating, masturbating, and creating are on the menu alongside using a jade egg to strengthen the vagina, incorporating erotic yoni massage in the vagina, and diving into extensive soul-searching self-reflection.
Anami stated that she went through a celibacy-centric transformation that lasted two-and-a-half years and it was a period of tremendous growth for her.“I was super productive, focused, and I accomplished what I wanted to,” she said. Not surprisingly, she revealed that within a week, she met three men who had considerable long-term relationship potential.
After self-pleasure, Anami advised that others get in touch with creative vibes and use that energy to jump into a new project that’s been shelved or use it to write, paint, and let one’s imagination run wild. Not only can anyone do it, she added, but she acknowledges that it’s the very blueprint for manifesting one’s deepest desires.
“Let the universe know that you are ready for the next level of growth,” she said. “Ask and you shall receive.”
Adding a Personal Touch
Masturbation is a vital part of Kim Anami’s conscious celibacy plan. But it’s not just a wham-bam-thank-you um, self kind of thing. Anami stated that it’s crucial to make the processes meaningful.
“Instead of a mad dash to the finish line as a way to ‘put yourself to sleep,’ you are going to pleasure yourself and breathe,” she recommended. “By breathing deeply throughout, you are going to take your potent, vital, sexual, creative energy and circulate it throughout your entire body. She says the process should last at least 15 minutes but could easily extend to 45 minutes or any preferable length of time.
Anami used self-pleasure to alleviate the pain and longing for a person who was no longer in her life. As she moved through the different stages of a breakup, including grief and regret, she repurposed that energy into fuel for creative writing projects.
She says she made significant strides with her career during that time, staying hyper-focused on her work and writing for several hours a day, which became cathartic. She confessed that she began to ditch the idea of the life she had meticulously planned and traded the concept for a more free-flowing approach to accept the love that was actually waiting for her.
When she reflects on this portion of her life, she says it was ironically one of the most “well-f–ked” seasons of her existence. She admitted that she savored her time being single and made the most of it.
For Kim Anami, it was never just about any old sex. “It’s in having lots of gourmet, conscious, life-changing sex, and channeling your sexual, procreative energy out into the world as a manifesting power to birth and shape your reality,” she added.
Anami used her last major breakup as a soul-strengthening, catalyzing event to assess which parts of her life were getting neglected and how that could bring better people into her inner circle.
And the sex coach didn’t put a deadline on the journey. She made a promise to herself that if she met someone during that period, she wouldn’t push them away — but at the same time, it wasn’t something she was focusing on or even attempting to manifest.
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