Historically, a groom’s responsibilities when planning a wedding tended to be limited to those things that would directly affect the groom himself, such as shopping for suits and organising their bucks party. These days, many grooms want to take a more active role in the wedding prep process – but they don’t know where to begin.
While there’s been more participation in the wedding planning process from grooms lately, it’s not always the ideal job for a man. After all, most guys have not envisaged their perfect wedding day on a daily basis since they were little, as many females do! The fact is that most brides don’t actually need the groom’s help – they just want to know that the groom is interested – and most importantly – has got their back.
So if you’re wondering what the groom’s responsibilities can be, and how to best contribute to wedding planning, keep reading!
Groom’s Responsibilities #1 – Get a Structure in Place
When planning a wedding of any size, it’s common for brides to feel like there are too many things to do, and get overwhelmed. And when all of these little details aren’t being kept track of properly, it’s easy to become even. more. stressed. As the groom, one of the best and most helpful things you can do is support the bride by implementing a structure to the planning process.
Despite being purely a common sense thing to do, contributing by creating structure will also help even out the footing in terms of the planning. You’re going to be playing an active part in painting out the bigger picture, and smoothing the way to accomplishing things. And, if you’re looking for a handy way to keep track of your plans, then a personal organiser is one of the best gifts for wedding prep because it keeps your notes and thoughts all there in one handy place.
#2 – Sort Out Your Side of the Guest List
You’ve finalised the available guest numbers, and the bride has her side sorted. So now it’s time for one of the biggest groom’s responsibilities – sorting out the guest list. As the groom, you may feel there is some sort of imbalance here, as brides do tend to dominate the guest list with their friends and family, in many cases. But that’s OK! Now it’s about preparing the guest list with the bride, side-by-side.
When planning the attendees from your side, you’ve got to make sure that your friends will actually RSVP. Sure, while there may be heaps of people you wanted to be there, especially if you haven’t seen them for years, ask yourself if they are actually going to show up. Sadly, many flaky people do not turn up to weddings (especially if they live far away) despite RSVP’ing with a “yes.” Nothing will upset the bride more than empty seats on her wedding day.
#3 – Write Your Speeches Early
If you’re like most people, and you’re not particularly fond of public speaking, writing your speeches could easily be put off ’till the very last minute (which is never a good idea, trust us.) But – truth be told, it’s better to get this sorted as soon as possible. If you’re not sure where to start, there are plenty of templates available online, which can give you a few ideas and pointers.
While daunting, your wedding day speech is a fantastic way to reminisce about your relationship with your bride-to-be. And once you get into the swing of it, you might actually find the process quite fun! Consider your speech like a little project, and you’ll be able to master it with time for edits, well before the big day comes around.
#4 – Don’t Think About the Stag Do!
Firstly, a stag night shouldn’t be something you plan yourself, but also, if you are particularly excited about going on your stag do, then keep this quiet from your bride. To many frazzled and stressed brides, harping on about your stag event will make it look like you care more about drinking than you do your big day.
The best thing you can do is to leave all of this to your best man. And yes, if the bride is not a big fan of your best man, this will no doubt be a thorny issue in the run-up to the big day as well.
To avoid personal disappointment, it’s important to have a chat with the best man and let them know your expectations of the stag do. Many best men make the big mistake of planning their ideal party, rather than yours! And while we’re on the subject of best men, check their speech before they get up on the podium to deliver it.
#5 – Defend Your Bride
During the lead up to the wedding, there will be countless examples when your fiance is up against it. She may be having a dispute with her parents about the relatives on the guest list, or an argument about the catering, or any other number of situations. One of the main groom’s responsibilities is to provide support and back up your fiance in the face of adversity.
As long as her stance isn’t completely at odds with your own thinking, all you need to do is to stay on her side – she will be grateful for this team effort and it lays a good foundation for tackling more of life’s problems in the future.
In short, as a groom, if you see your bride at the pit of despair in the run-up to the big day, or see her feeling overwhelmed with the number of things she has to do, find your own meaningful way to offer support – whether that’s taking over the reigns of that particular task, or simply being a shoulder to rest on.